Why Thank You, From The Tribe of Six

Long after the wrapping paper has been discarded, lists of givers of gifts, loiter around my kitchen until the Thank You letters begin to roll off the Tribe of Six press. It’s a long process and it is usually precipitated by the looming new school term. Some of the tribe of six relish the task, others detest it. Eventually, we cram half a dozen letters into an envelope; I heave a sigh of relief and they are in the post to the generous present givers.

OnlyGirl is efficiency personified; letters without a template and a large stamped address envelope into which, other grateful siblings can pop a neatly folded note. No3 Son tries to emulate his witty, older brothers but the writing paper is mostly curled at the edges and is always well endowed with ink blots. His letters are jam-packed full of the sweat and tears of a dyslexic child. In bygone days, I attempted to make him copy a drafted outline of perfection but we were doomed to failure, even with a mother peering over his shoulder. No3 Son’s letters bring a tear to my eye and nowadays, they are usually posted without alteration because he really has, tried his level best. Fortunately, most of the lucky letter recipients are aware of the toil and effort involved in his letter writing. No4 Son hates the task, it’s a bore and he doesn’t try to convince anyone otherwise. His face is blank, with an odd flicker of unenthusiastic attitude, we can only hope none of it escapes into the neatly written word.He isn’t given a model format but the reader of a collection of his letters might think otherwise. This child is often tasked with the random tribe of six group letter; this requires suitably polite, but not necessarily inspiring correspondence. Such a task will be completed before No3Son has collected a few writing thoughts together. The older, wittier boys have made the task more joyous, often by writing about anything but Christmas; their letters make me smile and others too. Once upon a time No2 Son wrote of a girl called Vagina. Virginia’s mother related his error with hilarity but sadly, in the company of another. At that point, I vowed to do better than a skim read of Thank You letters.
Over the years we have acquired a few in-house Thank You letter writing rules. Some things are just not acceptable; in fact if, I am honest, not writing a letter at all may be preferable.

• Anyone over the age of seven should not use a ready made tick box (let’s try to be funny) thank you letter or a homemade version with fill in the gaps. It just about ticks the: I’ve done my Thank You letter box, but little more. Recipients will often wonder why you’ve categorised them in a ‘needs to be done’ group
• One size never fits all; grown ups can read between the lines very well.
• Be sincere although on occasion this may be tricky. Last Christmas, OnlyGirl received a Bunty Annual; she was eighteen years of age.
• Check for grammatical errors and use a dictionary or the more evil parent will tear the letter up and ask you to start again.
• More than 3 crossings out or ink blots is not acceptable
• If the present was particularly dull or inappropriate be concise and focus on a few random Christmas events.
• We don’t think that an email can replace a letter, although it is better than nothing if you are really pushed for time or have run out of cartridges.
• Write your Thank You letters as soon as possible. The longer that you leave letters, the more difficult they are to write, and this isn’t just because you may have forgotten what the present was.
Cheques:
The tribe of six may not cash a gift cheque until the Thank You letter is in the post.
Money banked without personal acknowledgement is just not right. One year, a godson cashed and didn’t thank; the next year we wrote a card saying that he would receive a cheque, if he thanked us for the one he had cashed the previous year. Belated thanks are quite acceptable, it worked a treat and he got his cheque before Christmas. Lack of thanks for an unwanted, easily discarded gift is understandable (if not acceptable) but to walk or run to a bank and grab the cash without a murmur should not be tolerated.

This year we designated the dining room as letter writing room. We lit the wood burner to ensure that frozen fingers didn’t hamper writing style and anticipated peace, perfect peace with televisions and computers far away. The children may have benefited from additional warmth as they fed blemished and less than perfect letters to the wood burner (bringing a whole new meaning to recycling, recycled paper) but the letters took a long, long time. The Twelve Days of Christmas have now past and there is only one person who isn’t up to speed with her Christmas Thank You letters; I am considering a blog one, write one approach.